To All the Parents Whose Children's Holiday Vacations Start Now

To all the parents whose children's holiday vacations start now, I wish you great endurance, patience, and some peace somehow - somewhere - within your holiday vacation. And to all of the single mothers out there doing this alone, I bow down and kiss your feet . . . May you have a strong and loving community to assist you through those moments you are being attacked from all angles and want to pull your hair out and have visions and sweet dreams of strapping your child in a straight jacket with tape across their mouth while you do your hair and paint your nails while talking on the phone to your girlfriends like maybe you used to do the pre-terror ages.

Somehow writing this, though albeit not 100% accurate tale, made me feel very warm inside. On a more PC note -- let us truly try and share our love and warm smiles, and find the strength within us to teach our children something more about this holiday season than just receiving gifts and having us parents jump to their every whimper.

Here are a few things I am battling to teach my son this holiday season:

He can't watch television whenever he wants.

He needs to better understand gratitude, and that he is quite privileged.

That contrary to common Italian culture, I do not believe he deserves to eat candy or something sweet every day, and I don't care how cute he sounds saying Coca-Cola with a Tuscan accent, he can't have any. (I hate soda. Though I do let him have some every so often)

He cannot scream at us at 6:30am after he wakes the whole house up to go outside to play, or to walk to the local bar to buy a brioche.

We do not move or barely talk to each other until mommy and daddy have their coffee.

Stop throwing things . . . anywhere.

Have respect for your elders.

Stop talking about farts, or calling someone a fart, or calling someone you do not know "a naughty person" in Italian dialect. We are in Italy and they can understand you and your behavior reflects upon us not you.

Do not light up and get upset because things do not go the way you want them to -- if you are painting and you don't like how it turns out, then try again or try to change your vision and create something new. This is not a tragedy. You have yet to know tragedy my love.

Thank you for listening. Happy Holidays.